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| Self Mastery 201 |
| Written by Mark Houck |
| Tuesday, 02 February 2010 |
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So how did you do with your homework assignments? In our 101 class we discussed the building of a daily prayer life by starting with a simple prayer: “Lord, grant me the grace to master my selfish desires this day.” God willing through your prayer time and intentions at Holy Mass, you were able to build some of the necessary virtue for the 2nd part of your assignment: to remove all near occasions for sin in your home. Okay, let’s now transition to the next level in our journey of self-mastery and chastity. In this 200 level course I will be challenging you to take a deeper look at yourself and your relationships. Why is such an examination important in the pursuit of self-mastery? In order to grow in virtue, you must learn to identify the areas of weakness in your life. You may think that your lack of chastity is your primary weak point, but truth be told, it is only the symptom of a much larger problem. You may be thinking, how do I begin to examine myself? St. Augustine once prayed, “Lord, reveal me to myself.” I invite you to start here. Add this prayer to your daily prayer time and see what happens. This enlightening process will ultimately reveal to you one basic fact. Your falls into sin are usually a result of less than obvious stimuli. For example, an immodestly dressed woman may be a cause for most men to have a sexual desire. In this example, most men will typically identify as their weakness the scantily clad woman. By no means am I trying to dismiss the role of a woman’s dress, however, the sexual desire, if it remains but for a moment, is not sinful. Allow me to say that again, the momentary and I should clarify reactionary sexual desire is not sinful! In fact, it is very normal for a man to have such a response. It is the acting on this thought or more properly lusting that is sinful. It is precisely this area that I invite you to go deeper in your examination of self. Ask yourself, where do these thoughts in me come from? Every time you sin against chastity, are you feeling lonely just prior to your fall? Are you feeling unloved by friends or family members and therefore angry as a result? Are you bored with your life and in need of some excitement or adventure? Whatever it is, if you are going to grow in self-mastery, you must identify what is the true root cause of your fall. Again, an immodestly dressed woman has her role make no mistake, but she is not the source of the problem. As you begin to understand yourself more, I challenge you to also examine how your friends and your surrounding environment might be playing a role in your lack of virtue. Is your job a source of added loneliness or frustration? Do your friends contribute to an overall desensitization towards purity? Does your associations with others build virtue or vice? It is important that you seriously reflect on these questions. If your answers are predominantly YES, then you should seriously consider removing these impediments to virtue from your life. Once you have identified the root cause(s) of sin in your life, you are now able to focus on a particular corresponding virtue. For me, the root cause of my sin against chastity was pride. My prideful thoughts were: “ I don’t need anyone to love me;” “ I can take care of my own needs;” “ I can conquer my addiction to pornography on my own.” The remedy for me was a hefty and regular dose of humility. Seeking opportunities whereby you can practice humility will greatly enhance your ability to avoid sexual sin. We will look more into these opportunities in our 400 level coursework. For the lonely man, you must seek out fellowship and brotherhood. We will be discussing this in much more detail in our 301 class next month. For the angry man, you must get in touch with your anger and seek healing in those areas of your life. Begin with forgiveness and attempt as best you can to practice acts of charity towards those with whom you are most angry. Your homework assignment till next time is to intentionally take some time to either journal your thoughts to the questions in this reflection or just make a point of providing yourself with some significant and quality down time which to examine yourself (at minimum 30 minutes). * First, pray to the Lord for self revelation as Augustine did. * Second, ask the question: what is underneath my habitual sin against purity? * Third, begin to think about the opposite virtue(s) of your vice(s) and how you can best attempt implement them in your journey towards self-mastery. God bless you!
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