Brothers,

I hope you'll take the time to read my Victory Story because I believe I learnt a lot due to my weakness and my struggles and thus have some wisdom to share. I, like a lot of you got hooked on porn at a very young age. 7 or 8 if memory serves. It started with lingerie mags, then playboy & penthouse. When they got too "boring" I'd take it up a notch, turning to more hard core mags and xxx movies.

Allow me to be honest, there is nothing more intoxicating, nothing more likely to steal a mans breath away and stop his heart than the picture of a seductive woman. What is it about woman that can cause us to act like men who rise up to love and protect (a father) or a predator who seeks only to satisfy his lust despite what it costs the woman.

Because I learnt what "love" meant from porn mags and like minded male friends, I was on the hunt to date and to finally experience what I saw in the porn. I think Jason Evert or Matt Fradd has pointed out that a relationship is not the fulfillment of porn but that porn is the distortion of relationships... That was certainly true for me.

I dated a girl when I was 17 and quickly tried to have my way with her. I'm not denying that there weren't feelings of genuine love and respect for the girl, but since porn had trained me to "get some", I quickly forgot what little respect I did have for her when I got an erection. I lost my virginity to that girl.

To cut a long story short I got married several years back and have been struggling the odd time with pornography. So where's the victory? You're about to find out.

Certain strategies, prayers, men''s groups, filters & websites like this one helped me a great deal. I wont go into great detail about those strategies, though they were helpful. You'll find them all on this site if you look hard enough. I do want to tell you about the one thing, the final straw that broke the back of my lust. Here it is.

I started being honest with my wife.

There's usually only a few responses that men have when I tell them this. It's either A) "Oh crap, anything but that" B) I'm not married C) I know you're right but I don't want to hurt her.

In Deacon Ralph's testimony "Witness to Recovery" he talks about the necessity of being open and honest with our spouses. He said in the talk that one man came up to him after his talk and said that he was serious about overcoming his porn addiction. Deacon Ralph asked him if his wife knew. "no way" replied the man "I don't want to hurt her." Decaon Ralph asked him "And you don't think you're hurting her now?" The man agreed that he should tell his wife and so Deacon Ralph asked for his phone number..."In three days I'm going to be calling your house, either you have told her, or I'll do it for you".

I'm not going to lie. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Tell my wife that I had been sneaking out to the computer late at night, looking at pornography, masturbating on the toilet with one hand, my iPhone in the other....(notice when you tell it like it is you see just how un-manly the act of masturbating is). I did tell her, it hurt her but she was so glad she knew. I then told her that from this point on she will know before the priest in confession does.

There are times when I am feeling stressed and I feel the temptation to lust. At times like that I'll say to my wife "Please ask me over the next few days how I'm doing with purity"...Let me tell you brothers, few things sober you up as quickly as the knowledge that your bride will be asking you if you've remained faithful to her...

Is my victory story "Look how great I am boys, I've got it all under control"? NO. It is this "I am firmly and permanently resolved to love and protect my wife and never do anything to hurt her again. Will I fall in the future? I pray not, but if I do I will rise with the help of Gods grace and my sister in Christ, my bride."

Hope this helps.

Jack